All About Porn Addiction

What Is Porn Addiction?

Porn addiction can be described as an uncontrollable compulsion to view porn despite negative consequences to one’s life. Although porn addiction is  not an official diagnosis recognized by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), In reality If you can’t stop watching porn and it interferes with your ability to function, your relationships, or any other area of your life, it may be porn addiction.

Signs of Porn Addiction

Inability to stop watching porn despite multiple attempts to quit or limit use.

Strong cravings to watch porn and an intense pull to go to the computer or phone and look at porn.

Diminished or complete lack of interest in real sex.

Inability to focus on other aspects of life.

Irritability and agitation when unable to watch porn.

Trying to access porn in places where it is risky to do so such as at work or school. 

Feeling shameful, guilty and anxious as a result of porn use.

Hiding or minimizing the use of pornography

Becoming angry or even enraged when the subject of porn use is raised.

Using pornography as a coping mechanism in order to avoid stress, pain or uncomfortable feelings.

Neglecting important tasks or responsibilities in order to watch pornography.

How do I know if I’m addicted to porn?

If you have a feeling that porn use may be harming your life try this simple experiment: give up porn for a week or two. During this time observe and examine yourself. What are you feeling? Are you irritated or angry if unable to watch porn? Are you able to continue for another few weeks without porn or are you not able to finish a whole week without it? 

Most likely, if you can’t stop viewing porn for a week or two you have lost control over this aspect of your life and either you are addicted to porn or over time will become addicted.

How Do I Quit Porn?

Educate Yourself on the harmful effect of porn

Read books, articles and recent research on the subject, watch videos and listen to stories of individuals in recovery. Knowledge is power. By learning about pornography’s effect on the brain you will be better equipped to begin your recovery process.

Stay open and receptive

Some things will resonate with you while others won’t. For example, you may find that a book with a religious tone has some great ideas that can help you in your recovery process, even though you are not a religious person.

Don’t judge others who you feel are not “doing it right” 

Porn addiction is a powerful force and the brain will try to get what it wants by any means necessary. Individuals struggling with porn addiction are fighting a harsh, painful and draining internal fight; most suffer in silence, due to the deep shame involved.

Understand how you became addicted

Write down your life story/history in a journal (it doesn’t matter if it’s on paper or on your phone, just make sure no one can read it unless you want them to). You may see points of strength in yourself and discover that you were able to handle and recover from difficult things in the past. 

Porn addiction tends to harm your self-esteem and your ability to trust and believe in yourself; don’t let it fool you, you are fighting for your life and for a better future for yourself and your loved ones.

Take practical steps and stay consistent

Someone once said that in order to stop smoking cigarettes, you need to stop putting cigarettes in your mouth. The same goes for porn. It is necessary to stop watching porn or any other sexually arousing material (movies on Netflix with semi-naked bodies on the beach; R rated or sometimes even PG rated movies that have sex scenes, etc.), in order to give your brain a rest.

Stay away from your phone at night

One of the main relapse triggers is using your phone at night in order to "check emails or look at the news.” Most say that what really happens is that soon after you’ll finish checking your mail, your brain will find a reason to “look at the news” and at some point an intriguing picture will lead to one more until without notice you’ll find yourself exactly where you didn’t want to be - binging on porn for 3 hours.

In order to avoid this scenario, you may want to leave your phone out of reach until the morning and read a book. The brain will try to convince you otherwise (that something will happen and you must check it right away), but remind yourself - you are fighting for your life! One of the worst things that can happen is you going back into another porn-watching session.

Ask for help

Help comes in many ways. You can join an anonymous group on one of the online community-based sites, see a therapist (a porn-literate one only, not someone who tells you that it’s healthy to masturbate to porn ten times a day), go to meetings, or all of the above.

It is very important when reaching out for help to stay safe. By safety I mean, do not confide in anyone who may shame you, scold or criticize you, or make you feel that your secret will be exposed without your consent. Porn addiction is full of toxic shame, which makes it very hard for individuals to reach out for help. 

Be patient with yourself

The healing process takes time and requires hard work. Some days you may feel fine while other days you may feel sad and hopeless. Part of the process requires you to navigate through a range of difficult emotions without running back to the momentary comfort that porn provides. Porn does provide distraction from pain and difficult emotions but ultimately, it may cost you your job, your relationships with yourself and others and anything else you truly value.

First Thing to Remember After a Slip 

It is important to understand that when your brain is focused on porn it will set aside anything that is of importance to you, so it can get to its drug of choice.

For example, If you are a religious person and are unable to stop watching porn, know that it is not because you are weak, immoral, or lacking in your practice but simply put, your addiction hijacked the part of the brain that is concerned with morals or values.

If possible, next time you slip notice that after your porn session is over you feel shameful, depressed and are unable to comprehend how you fell into the same trap again. If you’re asking yourself “what was I thinking?” The answer is simple - you were not thinking. The thinking part of the brain that is concerned with morals, values, and doing the things you truly care about, was taken over by the addiction.

So the next time you slip, the first thing to remember is to treat yourself with compassion and kindness and not beat yourself down. Scolding yourself or getting angry and criticizing yourself will not only prevent you from getting better but will assist the cycle of addiction, which thrives on you feeling bad and running away from negative feelings.    

When should I Seek Help? 

If you are lost in fantasies about porn most of the time and are unable to stop thinking about it, or if you lose your sense of time while watching porn and consequently neglect important tasks and responsibilities, you may want to seek help. In addition, if you feel ashamed, depressed, anxious or guilty about your porn habits or are fearful that someone may find out your secret, you may want to consider reaching out for help.

Can Therapy Help with Porn Addiction?

Therapy can only help when you are ready for change. If you are going to therapy and expecting results but are not fully committed to change, you will most likely be very disappointed. I believe that a mediocre therapist with good intentions can help make great positive changes in your life, while a master and authority in the field will not be able to help you at all if you are not fully committed.

How Long Does It Take To Recover From Porn Addiction?

Even after many years of abstaining from pornography you can slip back into addictive mode if you’re not careful. Recovery from porn addiction requires consistent daily action, vigilance and attentiveness. In other words, you can never let your guard down. You will find during recovery that many of the triggers that can throw you back into addictive behavior are not necessarily on your screen but are embedded in the environment, which requires you to always stay one step ahead of your addiction.

Some experts say that porn addiction is A myth

Do not wait for the experts to agree on this matter anytime soon. A definitive research on whether porn is addictive or not could take years while individuals who struggle with porn addiction will pay the price. Experiment for yourself. See if you can live a porn-free life for a while and base your opinion on your personal evaluation of yourself and what’s best for you.

Article: “Porn addiction is ruining lives, but scientists aren't convinced it's real”

by: Daniel Van Boom

At the beginning of 2018, Steve had a stable marriage and his own business. By the end of 2018, he had neither. Alcohol abuse contributed to the 37-year-old's downward spiral, but it wasn't the catalyst. 

"My world collapsed on June 30, 2018," Steve said, "when the porn charges were discovered." Steve had been spending an "obscene amount" on internet porn subscriptions and cam sites, and his wife spotted the exorbitant fees while perusing the couple's finances. 

Steve was addicted to online porn. On a light day, he watched between two and three hours on his computer. Sometimes he'd wait until his wife went to bed, pop amphetamines and masturbate for hours. Other times, when his wife went out of town with their son, he'd spend entire afternoons watching porn…